What manner of geekery is this?

Random Zapp Brannigan Quote #5

2009-10-22T12:01:42Z

"Hell of a thing sending another universe to certain doom. Lots of fun, though. Makes a man feel big."

If I had a million dollars

2009-07-09T23:26:45Z

If I had a million dollars - if I had a million dollars
Well, I'd buy you a house - I would buy you a house
And if I had a million dollars - if I had a million dollars
I'd buy you furniture for your house - maybe a nice chesterfield or an ottoman
And if I had a million dollars - if I had a million dollars
Well, I'd buy you a K-Car - a nice Reliant automobile
And if I had a million dollars I'd buy your love

If I had a million dollars
I'd build a tree fort in our yard
If I had a million dollars
You could help, it wouldn't be that hard
If I had a million dollars
Maybe we could put like a little tiny fridge in there somewhere

You know, we could just go up there and hang out. Like open the fridge and stuff. There would already be foods laid out for us, like little pre-wrapped sausages and things, mmm. They have pre-wrapped sausages but they don't have pre-wrapped bacon. Well, can you blame 'em? Uh, yeah!

If I had a million dollars - if I had a million dollars
Well, I'd buy you a fur coat - but not a real fur coat, that's cruel
And if I had a million dollars - if I had a million dollars
Well, I'd buy you an exotic pet - yep, like a llama or an emu
And if I had a million dollars - if I had a million dollars
Well, I'd buy you John Merrick's remains - ooh, all them crazy elephant bones
And if I had a million dollars I'd buy your love

If I had a million dollars
We wouldn't have to walk to the store
If I had a million dollars
We'd take a limousine 'cause it costs more
If I had a million dollars
We wouldn't have to eat Kraft Dinner

"But we would eat Kraft Dinner. Of course we would, we'd just eat more. And buy really expensive ketchups with it. That's right, all the fanciest Dijon ketchups! Mmm. Mmm-hmm."

If I had a million dollars - If I had a million dollars
Well, I'd buy you a green dress - but not a real green dress, that's cruel
And if I had a million dollars - if I had a million dollars
Well, I'd buy you some art - a Picasso or a Garfunkel
If I had a million dollars - if I had a million dollars
Well, I'd buy you a monkey - haven't you always wanted a monkey
If I had a million dollars I'd buy your love

If I had a million dollars, if I had a million dollars
If I had a million dollars, if I had a million dollars
If I had a million dollars, I'd be rich

Listen

Wallpaper meme

2009-06-10T15:40:57Z

So here's my wallpaper:

It's the goddamn Earth. What's more awesome than that?

Your mother is a classy lady!

2009-04-08T13:25:44Z

So last night Paw and I played co-op Gears of War after far too long, and it went something like this:

"Okay, so you need to sign in. As you, not Sara. Better." "Let's do this." "How do you run again? I keep walking into walls. Okay, I think I've got it." "Eat this! (blam blam brakka brakka)" "Where'd you go? What other door?" "I think I just shot you." "Why are the enemies the same basic body shape as the friendlies?" "Ooh a shotgun (blam blam blam)." "Note to NPC rookie: Please don't walk into my line of fire or I will shoot you in the back of your stupid helmet." "Ah! I'm on fire!" "Word of advice, don't walk into the fire." "Cheers." "Now it is time to commune with Control. Place your fingers in your ear and walk slowly." "Man, his head exploded! Awesome!" "Okay, it's been like 2 minutes since I saw something to shoot, and I'm bored." "Why are we underground now?" "How do those things even fly? They don't have wings." "Why do they call that guy a Grinder? (whine of minigun) Ah, I see. Bags that when he's dead." "Well that's an implausably large worm." "NPC Rookie! Noooooooo!" "Told you he shouldn't have worn a helmet." "So... now we're in the worm? They do know most creatures are filled with fluid, right?" "Shh, it might hear you. Then we'd drown." "So just so I've got this right - that 'wall of debris'... that's a turd, right? A giant turd? That's going to crush us?" "Shut up and chainsaw some intestines." "Okay, I will cut the artery with my chainsaw but don't come crying to me when the room fills up with blood." "Shit, I drowned in blood." "One of the cool things about this is our armour is now stained in blood." "You cannot tell anyone where I've been." "So do we get a shower now? No? Fine." "Ha! Your ambush backfired - you weren't counting on my ridiculously jumpy trigger finger." "I think this is a (PWHOOMPH). Yeah, it's a flamethrower." "Why are they ripping off Bioshock now?" "Kill the widgets!" "Remind me never to enter a three-legged race with you." "If they blame this whole thing on Science, I will be pissed off."

So yeah... fun!

azhacael @ 2009-03-26T17:27:00

2009-03-26T17:29:16Z

Quantum decoherence

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

This article may be confusing or unclear to readers. Please help clarify the article; suggestions may be found on the talk page. (April 2007)

An observation

2009-03-25T14:07:58Z

Has anyone else noticed how in certain science fiction books the characters are scientists (or interested parties) who talk almost exclusively about molecular structures, psychological theories and quantum mechanics, even over dinner. Are there people out there who actually live like this?

Blah

2009-03-23T12:58:38Z

So my weekend was pretty much a failure. I missed the live WFRP due to the worst migraine I've had in months which incapacitated me for most of the day. On the plus side, one of my orders of Reaper minis arrived for me to play with on Sunday. Should have them finished for the game on Thursday.

And... that's about it. Now it's Monday, I'm skint and tired and achey and generally blah.

Bored? Who, me?

2009-03-16T13:54:57Z

You Are An ISFP

The Artist

You are a gifted artist or musician (though your talents may be dormant right now).
You enjoy spending your free time in nature. You are good with animals and children.
Simply put, you enjoy beauty in all its forms. You live for the simple pleasures in life.
Gentle, sensitive, and compassionate - you are good at recognizing people's unspoken needs.

In love, you are quiet and sweet yet very passionate. You love easily.
You have an underlying love for all living things, and it's easy for you to accept someone into your heart.

At work, you do best in an unconventional position. You express yourself well and can work with almost anyone.
You would make a good veterinarian, pediatrician, or composer.

How you see yourself: Sympathetic, kind, and communicative

When other people don't get you, they see you as: Incompetent, insecure, and overly sensitive

What's Your Personality Type?

"I'm making blood angels!"

2009-02-26T23:41:13Z

So sayeth Lt "Butch" Butcher in tones of glee. Promoted for his display of sheer hatred for the human race, he now has his own dropship but has no designs on promotion. The TEFS Shitstorm belongs to Captain Butters, and it'll stay that way.

Note to self

2009-02-26T14:46:24Z

Work ≠ Rock Band. When Offspring songs come onto iPod, resist urge to sing along.

Also, stop attention seeking and do some work.

The trial of Black Mage

2009-02-24T13:55:49Z

This turned out creepier than originally intended...

EDIT: I realise this needed contextualising...

Ding dong, the Grey Seer's dead.

2009-02-23T11:16:21Z

So our WFRP campaign is over and after orchestrating a remarkably successful campaign to overthrow the occupying Skaven forces our reluctant heroes became the talk of Talabheim. Our reward was a couple of hundred gold crowns and the 'eternal thanks' of the noble classes of the fair city of Talabheim. Obviously, being good Imperial citizens, we legged it as fast as we could.

I shall miss our merry band of scumbags: Ludwig, dodgy scrote and most likely Shaven; Oleg, ugliest Kislevite I ever met; Stefan, 'devout' Myrmidian with the hottest mums in the Empire; Orin, the insecure dwarf who infected us all with his damned heroism; and of course Kolya, pragmatic Middenlander to the end. The contrast they set against the WFRP live game was always pleasantly refreshing.

Speaking of which, the live WFRP game was not as stressful as usual meaning that I enjoyed it a fair bit more than I normally would. We did burn two player characters, but hey. Awesomely heroic deaths if you ask me.

I would very much like to sleep now. I hate Mondays. And Tuesdays, for that matter.

azhacael @ 2009-02-20T16:09:00

2009-02-20T16:09:46Z

I wish my Escape key worked.

Another Weekend

2009-02-17T11:04:23Z

So another weekend's come and gone. Friday I didn't go to the pub but lazed around at home instead. Saturday we tidied up a little and took George for lunch at a rather awesome cafe down the street from us. Full of bacon and eggs, we returned to Chez Purple and played the Star Wars video board game (a game that I have owned for 8+ years and now played exactly twice). I did get to be Darth Vader's apprentice - answering his calls of "Pupil" with "Yo, bitch" - but this didn't actually make it very easy to beat the other players and Greg won. Vehemently.

We then played Carcassonne and my grey meeples (or 'meeps' as they like to call each other) fought valiantly against the oppression of the brighter-coloured folk who wouldn't let them into their mighty castle (cue much "Screw you guys, I'll build my own castle with blackjack and hookers. In fact, forget the castle. And the blackjack."). Greg won that, too. Following that, it was decided that everyone wanted to play Rock Band (except me) so I watched two discs of Blade: The Series and started on my Big Book o' Visual Basic. I feel sorry for the cop in Blade, who holds up his only piece of evidence - a vampire fang in a glass tube - in the sunlight for it to promptly disintegrate. He looked very put out.

On Sunday we actually played WFRP! And murdered the mighty Sparker Eckmort, Lightning Engineer in two shots (leaving the rest of us who were about to ambush the bugger looking at each other and wondering if we should just leg it) and rescued the Countess of Talabheim ("Aren't you a little tall for a Skaven?"). All in all, a good session with many jokes about Stefan's mum(s) and how Oleg is hooked on their crack(s). On the way home I went past Paw's since he'd left his knackered bike at my place so I walked and bussed home with him, then we played a bit of Gears of War 2 and I made hilarious meatballs again.

Again with the fail on Monday.

Three Years.

2009-02-16T11:25:12Z

Yup, three whole years in this place. Think that's enough.

Another one

2009-02-02T14:22:04Z

Also, it was my birthday yesterday. I feel I really may have aged a year over the weekend.

Hell Yes.

2009-02-02T14:12:35Z

This is the most fucking awesome game trailer I have EVER seen. I mean, dude.

I'll be in my bunk.

Meme-tastic!

2008-12-08T01:54:17Z

Music player on shuffle, post the first line of the first twenty songs as a poem, with the twenty-first as the title.

I believe that reality's gone

Last week I left a note on Laura's desk
Once I had a friend that I could count on
Rise, throw away the charade of your life
Please take me by the hand.

Pull back my skin
Extermination, thunder, the strange one is back again
I do not need a microphone
Waking up with an 8.2 when it seems like the easiest thing to do.

It's 5 o'clock in the morning
komm in mein Boot
Intimidation, I stand before you now
I climb the walls of my mind like climbing in a jungle gym.

And I want to believe you
No mercy for the bad if they want it
So here we go
Summer has gone and passed.

One: Take control of me
Never again will I be dishonoured
She; she screams in silence
You just stood there screaming.

For sale

2008-06-30T21:41:36Z

Battlestar Galactica Season One DVD Boxed set. £10 or nearest offer.

Book thing.

2008-06-27T11:18:46Z

These are the books that I have or haven't read that people tell me I should have.

Bold - Read
Italics - Want to read
Underlined - Loved.

1 Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen
2 The Lord of the Rings - JRR Tolkien
3 Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte
4 Harry Potter series - JK Rowling
5 To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee
6 The Bible
7 Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte
8 Nineteen Eighty Four - George Orwell
9 His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman
10 Great Expectations - Charles Dickens
11 Little Women - Louisa M Alcott
12 Tess of the D'Urbervilles - Thomas Hardy
13 Catch 22 - Joseph Heller
14 Complete Works of Shakespeare
15 Rebecca - Daphne Du Maurier
16 The Hobbit - JRR Tolkien
17 Birdsong - Sebastian Faulks
18 Catcher in the Rye - JD Salinger
19 The Time Traveller's Wife - Audrey Niffenegger
20 Middlemarch - George Eliot
21 Gone With The Wind - Margaret Mitchell
22 The Great Gatsby - F Scott Fitzgerald
23 Bleak House - Charles Dickens
24 War and Peace - Leo Tolstoy
25 The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams
26 Brideshead Revisited - Evelyn Waugh
27 Crime and Punishment - Fyodor Dostoyevsky
28 Grapes of Wrath - John Steinbeck
29 Alice in Wonderland - Lewis Carroll
30 The Wind in the Willows - Kenneth Grahame
31 Anna Karenina - Leo Tolstoy
32 David Copperfield - Charles Dickens
33 Chronicles of Narnia - CS Lewis
34 Emma - Jane Austen
35 Persuasion - Jane Austen
36 The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe - C.S. Lewis
37 The Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini
38 Captain Corelli's Mandolin - Louis De Bernieres
39 Memoirs of a Geisha - Arthur Golden
40 Winnie the Pooh - AA Milne
41 Animal Farm - George Orwell
42 The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown
43 One Hundred Years of Solitude - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
44 A Prayer for Owen Meaney - John Irving
45 The Woman in White - Wilkie Collins
46 Anne of Green Gables - LM Montgomery
47 Far From The Madding Crowd - Thomas Hardy
48 The Handmaid's Tale - Margaret Atwood
49 Lord of the Flies - William Golding
50 Atonement - Ian McEwan
51 Life of Pi - Yann Martel
52 Dune - Frank Herbert
53 Cold Comfort Farm - Stella Gibbons
54 Sense and Sensibility - Jane Austen
55 A Suitable Boy - Vikram Seth
56 The Shadow of the Wind - Carlos Ruiz Zafon
57 A Tale Of Two Cities - Charles Dickens
58 Brave New World - Aldous Huxley
59 The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time - Mark Haddon
60 Love In The Time Of Cholera - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
61 Of Mice and Men - John Steinbeck
62 Lolita - Vladimir Nabokov
63 The Secret History - Donna Tartt
64 The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold
65 Count of Monte Cristo - Alexandre Dumas
66 On The Road - Jack Kerouac
67 Jude the Obscure - Thomas Hardy
68 Bridget Jones' Diary - Helen Fielding
69 Midnight's Children - Salman Rushdie
70 Moby Dick - Herman Melville
71 Oliver Twist - Charles Dickens
72 Dracula - Bram Stoker
73 The Secret Garden - Frances Hodgson Burnett
74 Notes From A Small Island - Bill Bryson
75 Ulysses - James Joyce
76 The Bell Jar - Sylvia Plath
77 Swallows and Amazons - Arthur Ransome
78 Germinal - Emile Zola
79 Vanity Fair - William Makepeace Thackeray
80 Possession - AS Byatt
81 A Christmas Carol - Charles Dickens
82 Cloud Atlas - David Mitchell
83 The Color Purple - Alice Walker
84 The Remains of the Day - Kazuo Ishiguro
85 Madame Bovary - Gustave Flaubert
86 A Fine Balance - Rohinton Mistry
87 Charlotte's Web - EB White
88 The Five People You Meet In Heaven - Mitch Albom
89 Adventures of Sherlock Holmes - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
90 The Faraway Tree Collection - Enid Blyton
91 Heart of Darkness - Joseph Conrad
92 The Little Prince - Antoine De Saint-Exupery
93 The Wasp Factory - Iain Banks
94 Watership Down - Richard Adams
95 A Confederacy of Dunces - John Kennedy Toole
96 A Town Like Alice - Nevil Shute
97 The Three Musketeers - Alexandre Dumas
98 Hamlet - William Shakespeare
99 Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - Roald Dahl
100 Les Miserables - Victor Hugo

azhacael @ 2008-02-01T12:26:00

2008-02-01T12:31:58Z

Woohoo.

RPG meme thing.

2007-11-25T00:38:05Z

1) Name your current characters and which system they are in.
Khâdegan - D&D
Mr. Black - Vampire LARP
Ruprecht von Raukov - Warhammer LARP

I wish there were more, but sadly there aren't.

2) What is their race, their role and their best and worst traits?
Races:
Khâdegan - Dwarf
Mr. Black - Vampire
Ruprecht - Human

Roles:
Khâdegan - Party wizard, ex-cleric and slightly spooky necromancer/blood mage.
Mr. Black - Malkavian hitman.
Ruprecht - Under-appreciated Baron of a shithole town in Ostland.

Best Traits:
Khâdegan - Kind heart, ability to predict when things will explode.
Mr. Black - handy with a gun, no sense of humour.
Ruprecht - Young and idealistic.

Worst Traits:
Khâdegan - Denial of his religious beliefs.
Mr. Black - tends to scare people.
Ruprecht - slightly naive, lack of true leadership skills.

3) Which do you find the hardest to play and why?
Mr. Black simply because it's very hard to play an emotionless killer for 4 hours at a time.

4) Which do you find the easiest to play and why?
Khâdegan because I just have to shout and blast things with lightning bolts.

5) Which is the most enjoyable to play and why?
Khâdegan - I can get into character just by doing the ol' Scottish accent.

6) Which would you say is the best character?
Possibly Ruprecht - I've put a lot of thought into his background and character though I am a bit stuck as to where he's going.

7) Which would you say is the worst character?
Probably Mr. Black. Playing an antisocial, emotionless character in a largely non-combat LARP may not be the best idea...

I am Rincewind. Who knew?

2007-11-22T21:42:17Z

Which Discworld Character are you like (with pics)
created with QuizFarm.com

You scored as Rincewind

You are Rincewind! Greatest survivor of all times! But a rather inept â€œwizzard". You seem to be going from bad to worse, without slowing down. Rather miserable with your luck, the luggage that follows you around offers little comfortâ€¦

Rincewind

75%

Carrot Ironfounderson

50%

Death

50%

Lord Havelock Vetinari

44%

Commander Samuel Vimes

44%

The Librarian

38%

Cohen The Barbarian

31%

Esmerelda (Granny) Weatherwax

25%

Gytha (Nanny) Ogg

19%

Greebo

19%

A Public Service Warning

2007-10-26T07:45:09Z

Do not watch The Dark Is Rising. If you liked the books at all, you will be offended. If you didn't, it will still be a waste of two hours of your life. That is all.

London. June 18th, 1920. Midnight.

2007-09-10T11:12:57Z

Somewhere in the shadows of the room, a gramophone crackled a Joplin waltz. The dim lights centred on a baize-covered card table and the four figures seated around it, wraiths of cigar smoke dancing in the air above their heads. Leather creaked as Vincent Smith leaned forward, bringing his angular features into the light. He smiled his crooked smile as he placed his cards in front of him. "Full house, gentlemen. I do believe that wins me the pot."

The others groaned and tossed down their cards. Vincent was not a good man to play cards against. He giggled quietly as he dragged the banknotes on the table toward him. A known paranoid schizophrenic with a penchant for sadism, his condition also made him into a mathematical machine. For this reason, he was a valuable accountant, but also rather too good at poker.

"Nice one, Vince," muttered one of the other players, known to the others as Jack. He chewed a cigar and puffed blue-grey smoke as he gathered up the scattered cards. His deft hands shuffled. "Another hand?"

As the others mumbled agreement, a knock came at the wooden door of the cellar. A look travelled around the table. Vincent giggled nervously. At a nod from Jack, the largest man stood and crossed the room to the door, drawing a hefty pistol from beneath his pinstriped jacket. He reached up and slid open the hatch in the door, which exploded. A roar filled the room and the big man's head disappeared in a shower of blood and gore. A second roar followed and the door's lock splintered from the frame, and the door was kicked open. A figure entered, a figure in a black trenchcoat and suit, its face hidden by the brim of a fedora. The card players struggled to free their weapons as the trenchcoated figure lowered the shotgun in its left hand and levelled a revolver in its right. The gun bucked as two bullets tore into a card player, knocking him from his chair. Jack managed to wrench his own pistol free of its holster and let off a shot at the dark figure before two more shots hit him in the chest.

The figure stopped his slow advance on the table and the revolver pointed at Vincent, still in his place at the card table. A further shot roared from the barrel. Vincent rocked back in his seat slightly and giggled, a strange light in his eyes as he looked down at the dark red stain spreading across his white silk suit. He rocked again and a second stain began to spread. His laughter took a more manic tone.

The figure in black cocked its head, then shrugged and calmly holstered the revolver. The shotgun clicked as it was broken, followed by the tink, tink of shells falling into place and then the clunk as the barrel was snapped back into place, all with cool precision. The blast from both barrels of the shotgun hit Vincent full in the chest and threw him backwards from his chair to lie, sprawled and bleeding, on the cellar floor. The figure gave a little nod of satifaction, turned and stalked through the carnage it had wrought toward the ruined exit. A groan from the darkness behind made it turn around. Vincent was struggling to his feet, dripping blood from a myriad of wounds in his chest and back. His once-white suit was now a dark crimson and he grinned at the dark figure. The figure sighed and drew the revolver once more and began to reload it. Vincent staggered across the room, hurling the card table from his path to smash against the wall.

"I think," he rasped, glaring at the dark figure, "you have made a grave miscalculation." The figure raised the revolver once more in reply and placed two shots into Vincent's ruined chest. Vincent staggered slightly but kept coming.

"Don't you get it, you little SHIT" the accountant's voice broke into a shrill falsetto, "you CAN'T kill ME." And he smiled terribly. The smile had no humour and served only to show the fangs, and the murderous intent behind the dark eyes. The revolver roared again, and Vincent's left ear was torn from his head. He let forth an inhuman howl and surged forward into the black figure, lifting it from its feet and slamming it into the wall with the sound of several ribs cracking. The man in the black suit grunted in pain and fired the revolver again into his attacker's stomach. Vincent growled gutturally and knocked the gun from the man's hand. He studied his captive's face, ragged breaths washing over the man.

"I know you." He smiled his humourless smile once more. "Black, isn't it? Frank Black? A useful man, I hear. I think I might just keep you." And his fangs sank into Mr. Black's neck, and he drank deeply.